Soccer- by Josiah

Today I went to my first soccer practice. It was AWESOME!

It started so well. First, I completely bailed on my nap. Mom was a little worried about getting there on time- she signed us up a little earlier than she probably would have normally, but she wanted me to be in the same group as our neighbor Tyler. Tyler has to go earlier because Tyler doesn't nap anymore (genius!) and goes to bed about 2 hours earlier than I do (sucker!) But Mom agreed to this time, saying maybe I could go ahead and drop my nap once a week! WHAT?!? The queen of sleep is giving me a pass on a nap?!? Once a week?!? Remind me to buy Tyler a nice present...

AND we got to leave Gabby at home with Grandma. I guess Mom has wised up to the fact that Gabby does not follow directions very well. Like if you tell her, "Gabby don't run on that field!" she's pretty much going to figure out how to run on the field as soon as she possibly can. Normally I kinda resent the fact that she's so disobedient, because I don't always think Mom calls her on it. Seriously, she gets away with murder. But this time it's come back to bite her in the patoot- she doesn't get to come to soccer with me. Just me and Mom. And Mom isn't even going to bring a book or talk on her phone, I asked! She's actually going to sit and just watch me! (Mom says weird things like, "Isn't 6 hours a day of uninterrupted attention enough for you, can I please have just a few minutes to myself???" and it's getting a little old...)

So we got there, and Mom talked to this lady and I started kicking around this ball like these other kids were doing. Then this Coach person called us over and said we're going to "warm up." So we played Red Light, Green Light and practiced running on the field lines. She picked me to go first. Probably because I was holding a ball. I don't know what was wrong with those other kids, but no one else brought their ball to warm up. Uh, dummies, it's soccer, which is played with a soccer ball. Maybe you should have one... I tired to help lead by example, and I carried my ball just like Dad's been teaching me. All over the field, back and forth, I held that ball for all to see. I'm thinking my teammates maybe aren't that bright because none of them caught on and picked up a ball. Oh well, you have to work with what you've got, I guess.

Then we did these other things that were called drills, which is basically standing around waiting for someone to say, "Okay, it's your turn! No, over here! Get closer! Don't use your hands! Just your feet! Good job!" I didn't really listen much or pay attention, because it was clear these people have no standards. Every single one of us kids did something completely different, and they all said, "Good job!" each time. Yeah, that's helpful. If you're not going to be specific about what I should do, I'm just gonna do what I want. It's worked so far in life.

At the end, we played a game, and that was the BEST. I got this great yellow mesh thing that could fit Mom, and the Coach person gave three more to three other kids. I was told they are my team. (Which is a bit confusing, because I thought all 8 kids were my team. But it's okay, I won't remember this tomorrow...) We were then given the ball and told to try to kick it into one of those goal things. I guess the other 4 kids without the yellow shirts were going to try to stop us. Yeah, let them try! That Coach person kept saying "Pass!" which I remembered from one of our drills meant kick it to someone else. Well, I looked for the other three yellow mesh shirt things. One boy and girl were practicing their dinosaur yells, because we chose T-Rexes as our team name. That's important, so I didn't want to bother them. The other yellow shirt girl was sitting in the grass crying about something. So it was just me. So I kicked the ball and ran. And you know what happened?!? Some kid without a yellow shirt took the ball from me! Can you believe that?

Well, they obviously haven't met my dad. He's taught me to tackle, and to "Cover the loose ball!!!" So, that's what I did. I laid myself out across that ball until they stopped kicking it. Then I picked it up, and ran with it to my goal. I put it down right in front and kicked it in! GOAL! I was awesome. And all because I PRACTICED! Remember how in warm-ups, I was the only one carrying a ball? Yep, that's why I was ready. I'm sure if any of the other kids had thought to work on their ball skills, they might have had a chance. But, well, they'll learn.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying being the star of my new soccer team. I scored 5 goals today. Maybe if I don't bother to waste any time kicking the ball at all, I can do 10 next week... Something to think about...