Things We Can Throw

Making History and Science interesting for little ones can be challenging.  Especially when your beautiful offspring go beyond the description of "wiggly" into the realm of "Help, I think I've given birth to a visitor from the Other Dimension of Perpetual Motion!  And he brought his sister!"  At five and six, my kids are simply not going to be able to sit through "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire."  (And I think only one of their parents could.  I'll let you guess which one...)  So studying these subjects becomes a balancing act between trying to teach them something and trying to capture their interest-quickly.  Because I've usually got about 5 minutes to keep their attention before someone starts poking a pencil in someone's ear.

These may look like typical sunglasses, but they're really protective safety goggles.  Because you never already know who may come after you with pink paint on a brush. 

I have had to learn to make peace with the fact that sometimes the project we do may be, technically, not that educational.  Sure, I'd like every science experiment to be the first step toward their PhD dissertation or their drawings of monuments be done to scale using high level geometry and algebra.  But more often than not, their projects are more educational in the "How to Not Get Glue Stuck in My Nose, Because I Picked My Boogers While Making Macaroni Art 101" or "Advanced How Far Can I Spread Paint Around the House Before Mom Packs It Up and Declares It's Quiet Time."

We've never actually made macaroni art, but if we do, I hope my kids make this.  And then they could sell it for $600 on Etsy.  (http://www.regretsy.com/2012/02/07/im-going-to-need-600/)

This week we return to study Egypt, as we're getting started to put our historical timeline together.  A recommended project- making Egyptian throwing sticks.  Apparently, these were toys used by Egyptian children, painted to look like serpents, used in throwing games.  I guess this would be useful for children who will grow to hunt and fight with spears.  My kids will use them to bang on the walls and torment the cats.  Like they use every other craft they make.

It's okay, they find their ways to get their revenge.  (Not pictured- poop.  IN MY DRYER.)

Basically, all this build up is going to be disappointing when you see what we made.  We painted wooded spoons to look like snakes:

It's okay, you can relax.  Despite the what the authentic colors and patterns may make you think, these are not actual snakes.

Look how happy we are when we're done painting!

"We smiled for the first fifty-six pictures, now all you get from us in barely-contained rage."

And, the most important part- they can be thrown.

Look at that form!  We're ready to go kill some boar!

Or not.

Duck!  A wooden spoon painted to look like a psychedelic snake from the River Styx is coming right at your face!  That kid in the Where's My Water Shirt means to kill us all!

I have no idea if this throwing stick thing has any historical accuracy.  I also don't know that I think this would be the most valuable fact for my kids to remember about Ancient Egypt.  But they had fun and got to practice some painting.  They got some fresh air and got to throw things.  Overall, I give this project a rating of "Successful: They Had Fun."

Birthday Insanity

Pictured: Deliciosness

Why did we make a football cake for Aunt Debbie, who does not watch, or play, football, for her birthday?  Why did my kids want to hang a Kansas City Chiefs blanket on the banister as a "Happy Birthday Banner" for her visit?  Because her birthday (May 3) falls too close to Rob's (April 23.)  And he was traveling on his birthday, so she got the overflow of all the things Josiah and Gabrielle didn't get to do for their dad.  Sometimes it's hard not to make other people's special days all about you.


There are times that I wonder if my kids are a bit self-centered.  Okay, I don't wonder that at all.  To a degree, all kids are selfish, some are just more successful and obnoxious about it..  Shoot, that's true of all types of people, of any age.  Anywhoodle, I guess what I mean is that I wonder if my kids are self-centered beyond repair, and if I'm not doing enough to address it.  I don't think about it too much, because I spend a lot of time wondering if they'll ever stop picking their noses while they talk to complete strangers about our cats.  (There's a lot in that sentence to digest, I'll let you decide for yourselves which particular part of that situation I worry about.)


For Debbie's birthday, we picked her up from the airport at 10 and then took her to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science.  Because what first grade teacher wouldn't want to spend one of her few days off, her birthday no less, surrounded by the most field-trip over-loaded place in the Denver Metro area?  So why did we do it?  Because we live about as far from the airport as you can get and still be considered within the suburbs of Denver.  Also on that side of town?  You guessed it.  The Denver Museum of Nature and Science.  So it just seemed smart to go there on our way home.  And the last time we went, I was the only adult with three kids.  I thought the two adult, two kid ratio would be more fun for us all.  That's right, we planned what to do with Aunt Debbie, for her birthday, around what would be the most fun and entertaining for us.

We ran into a little trouble while there, but nothing we couldn't handle

So am I teaching my kids to be selfish?  Maybe.  Then again, Aunt Debbie is a first grade teacher, probably the best one on the planet, and she does it because she loves it.  So she actually does enjoy things that other grown-ups might not.  She's also their aunt, and my sister, and she loves us.  She wants to be a part of our lives, and, well, museum visits are a huge part of our lives.  Sometimes I think the most special way you can show someone love is to simply invite them to participate in your life.  To welcome you into the daily routine, the regular chores, the repetitive arguments and struggles- well, to do that, you're showing them that you trust them.  I want my kids to learn to be themselves around those they love, so they can then learn that people love them just the way they are.  Sure, they aren't perfect, but they're loveable anyway.  On top of that, people feel validated and valuable when they share things that they are excited about with others, and those people share their excitement.  It's a bonding experience, and such an important part of developing a child's self-identity and self-worth.  (Hear that, Rob?  Think of how validated I could feel if you would just get excited about SHOES?!)So we went to the museum, we made a football cake, and we gave her Nerf guns as a present.  

She also got to ride on one of the metal wolves outside the museum which may have been the best part for her.

But my kids also drew her many pictures, writing "I love you Deebie" on them.  They tried to give her their own toys, wrapped in the blankets off of their beds.  They woke up this morning asking "What are we going to do for Aunt Debbie's birthday today?  What does SHE want?"   I think, so far, they're not worryingly selfish.  


But give us time.  I have more than a decade to corrupt them some more...